Tuesday, September 1, 2015

The Day I Said Yes

"I made up my mind, I was going to find someone 
who would love me unconditionally
three hundred sixty five days a year".

Last July 17th, 2015, on the day of our 5th anniversary, John asked me to marry him. Truth be told, I emptied my head for any expectations of an engagement ring and a mind-blowing proposal. Years before, we were already discussing our future plans: wedding, dream house, family. Hence, there was not a trace of ever saying No to him, should he finally ask me that. I kept on telling him, "you don't need to propose to me anymore. No need for a ring, etc etc" being the practical (or stingy) fart that I am, I was more worried on the cost of the ring he would get me rather than having all these overrated fairy tale like proposals all over the internet. 

That day, we left home early as we planned to spend the anniversary at Luljetta's Hanging Gardens and Spa located in Antipolo, Rizal. I had been dying to visit the place for years ever since I saw it on TV. Imagine an infinity pool overlooking mountain ranges instead of the usual beach. It was something different, exciting, and romantic. It was an unusual choice during the rainy season, but the thought of a crowd-less spa carved through the mountains was enticing. And we made the right choice! We tried all the Hydro facilities and indulged in the luscious Greenery of the Antipolo mountains and Laguna de bay. My favorite spot was the Infinity Pool. 

We were taking photos of our silly selves, when he asked me to stay at the edge of the pool, turn back and strike a pose. I obeyed cluelessly, thinking it was for some epic blog photos. And he was placing his phone on a stand. I did as I was told anyway, when I felt him approach me. I asked how he was going to take my photos if he left the phone at the other corner of the pool, and he said he brought along a shutter. I couldn't see his other hand because it was under the water but I knew he held something "Red", thinking it was the camera shutter. Seeing I was looking intently at the "shutter", he held out that hand from underneath the water and showed a heart shaped box. My world stopped spinning for a half a second, totally going blank. He opened the box and the diamond ring sparkled before my eyes. He took out the ring and held my hand. "Honey, will you marry me?".









I knew I fell into a state of coma for a moment there. My mouth hung open, my eyes were not seeing anything at all and my neck mechanically spun to the right, slowly regaining vision of the mountains. And then I cried, uncontrollably. Though I knew I found the voice to say "Yes." Or I think I answered "siyempre" lol. And we sealed it with a kiss. :*

So much for all the sappiness. Here's a quick overview of the place:

Five years plus 2 months, we are still together. The road we took was not the less traveled. It was bumpy, muddy, dusty, with cracks here and there. But we are still together. Five years had gone by, and I still couldn't get the hang of it. We fought, a lot, made each other cry, made wrong decisions every once in a while, but we're still together. We are strong after all. And next July will be our 6th year. And a few months after that, will change our lives forever. Thank you for wanting to marry me lol. I'm not perfect, I'm not the best, I'm clumsy and sickly, I don't cook nor do laundry nor iron clothes. I spend money on clothes like hell, and sing and dance to K-Pop. I scream after cute K-Pop boys and watch anime and bowl over Korean dramas and Pinoy movies. I don't watch your gigs and don't listen to most of the bands you liked. I'm all these and more and you're still here with me. I cannot thank you enough. But I will thank you nonetheless. 

Thank you for always listening to my rants, for giving me advices that sounded a hell lot better than any shrink. Thank you for never failing to remind me to eat, take my meds, take a bath (lol), every day without fail. Thank you for always taking me home, every date, despite the distance and travel time, and unpredictable weather. Thank you for dancing with me to "Wonderful Tonight". Thank you for dropping by the office sometimes to surprise me. Thank you for the unyielding patience of taking photos of me for my blog for the longest time. I have so many things to thank you for, not even this space is enough. But always know, I am here for you. I love you. And I'm marrying you! 


Love Lots,

Happily Engaged.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

[Outfit Post] ; Dolphins, Raffles and Marshmallow Stacks

The rainy season is here again, so that means only one thing: Sweather! (Sweater - weather, got it? LOL!) And while I badly wanted to go out clad in furs and knits once again and have a cup of hot tea, weather wasn't permitting. It could have been fine if it were only a harmless drizzle. But at the moment, we have three typhoons inside the Philippine Area of Responsibility. That bad, yep. The floods also are starting to make a comeback so all the more reason to just stay at home, charge gadgets and pray! Hard!

So anyway, John and I went to the Travel Madness Expo 2015 last Sunday, held at the SMX Convention Halls 1-4 at the SM Mall of Asia. It was a three-day event, which, unfortunately for me, the only day off I had then was the last day, so I bade goodbye to all the best deals. All I got were tons of brochures from various Travel Agencies and Airlines, photo-ops with dancing dolphin mascots and robots, and a mini heart attack at the raffle draw. I've always thought I was lucky with raffles because I frequently get picked. Just when I badly needed to win, I did not!!! The event had a Php 3K cut (discount) for any chosen destination and they selected 30 winners. Should the winner fail to come up at the stage within 3 minutes, his/her win is forfeited. I believe there were more or less 30 to 40 forfeited slots and the host had to re-pick entries to cover the 30 winning slots. And we still DID NOT GET CALLED. WHY!!! Lol Just kidding. So here's my super laid back and comfortable OOTD at the event:

Cap ; care of John | Pull over ; Virtual Styleish | Shorts ; Random | Bag ; Sam's Closet PH ; Nike Shoes ; Sam's Closet PH

Love Lots,

Friday, June 19, 2015

[Outfit Post] ; Going Light

I had been into all pastel outfits lately. I cannot say that I have already outgrown wearing really loud colors and prints, they will always have a special place in my heart and in my closet. But right now, my eyes just could not evade Nudes and Peaches. In fact, Peach has started to invade my closet and I mean, really, I did not realize I have bought so many pieces of this shade for the past few months, had my mom not pointed out. However, my complexion has really gotten quite dark since our Summer outing in Caramoan last March and my skin has not yet gone back to its fair glory after that horrible Sunburn. I think pastels right now make me look a lot darker or is it just me? But anyway, who cares? (Well I do, a bit lol). This nude and peach combo is just too pretty to resist. Yes my top is actually colored Peach but it was too light, it looked Nude just like the rest of the outfit. I just wore this super rad Aquamarine polarized lens to add a pop of color to the ensemble. Let me know what you think. Sorry I'll have to keep the post short. I'm just recovering from a fever. So much for a comeback post lol. Have a great day!

Top ; Thrifted | Blazer ; Thrifted | Shorts, necklace and bangle ; AI Fashion | Bag ; Cheapanga PH | Sunnies ; PowerUP Manila | Wedge ; SM Parisian Shoes

Love Lots,

Friday, May 8, 2015

[Outfit Post] ; D E M I A N

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” 
- Maya Angelou ; 
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

How long has it been since I last held a book, a real book, and not sleep and impelled myself to finish it in one sitting? I don't know anymore. 
I had read too many stories, finished too many novels, wrote too many poems, but quite a few I could remember. I love reading, and whenever I read, I read the dialogues aloud and I feel at one with the character, like stepping into his/her shoes. Too many books had rendered me wordless, had made me cry, made me angry, inspired me, too inspired that I could write a piece around it in one go and submit it to a random literary contest and win it. I wrote so well, I could profess that to the world. I wrote so well that it has taken me to uncharted lands. I wrote so well that one of my pieces has been given a place in a London-based literary magazine. I wrote so well. And then I became stagnant. I ceased writing, my pen no longer remembers me. I had named my Parker Pen, Mary Jane. See what I did there? It does not matter. She no longer knows me. She no longer breathes the liquid fire that had made myself so amazing in my eyes. 

One of the writers that I would always remember, adoring, worshiping, and almost married if I could, was Hermann Hesse. He wrote the novel Demian. That mysterious classmate and comrade of the narrator of the novel, Emil Sinclair. That mystery, which was not too mysterious after a few tens of pages, would eventually make you comprehend that it was just the world, in a clearer spectrum in the eyes of an honest man. I had read the book because I was tasked to, for a class report, and I will always be indebted that my professor assigned this to me. I had read the book during a crisis, a battle I was fighting within my system, when everything I knew was unclear, and unreal. And all these turmoil and unrealness, as soon as I had done reading, amalgamated and shaped into something much more comprehensible. Still a blur, but coherent, audible and eloquent. 


Not only had the book gave me this fleeting sense of salvation from the unrealness of it all, I was roused, and galvanized. I knew then what I wished to write about. I had written too many, one after the other, each was inspirited by Demian's truths and ideals. I was reborn. I became a different person. It was my most real self. It was the only real thing I have ever seen, heard, tasted and felt. I wrote, slept, lived and wrote so well.

And then I lost all my novels, my poetry, my essays and short stories to the flood in 2011. My library had been washed out. And when the waters subsided, all I saw were but a few of the pages torn from the bind. Not only were the pages torn, I felt my soul, quite slowly, being trampled, shredded into thousands of fibers from my stitching. I did not cry. I should have cried. Because from then on, I had ceased writing. I had ceased reading. And everything was back to how it was then ; fictitious, black, void and unhappy.

One day, I was online in Facebook. I saw a random post which said:
"You should let yourself be carried away, like the clouds in the sky. You shouldn't resist. God exists in your destiny just as much as He does in these mountains and in that lake. It is very difficult to understand this, because man is moving further away from Nature, and also from himself." ~Hermann Hesse
That name. My breathing stopped. I read it again and was once again lost within myself.
It has been four years since I stopped writing. It has been four years since I last held a book, a pen, and a piece of paper. It has been four years since my last sensible thought. I wasted four years, engulfed at work but nursing a sinkhole in the abysmal part of my lifeblood. That name. It rang a bell. That name, how could I forget? That name, was the name of my hero. It has been four years. I am still working, and will definitely still not have all the time in the world. But ideas went scrambling, chasing one after another. I cannot let another four years come past me. This is what I wanted. This is what I was made for. I am here to tell a story. My Story.
 I grabbed a pen and wrote again.

"Lock up your libraries if you like, but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind."
~ Virginia Woolf ;
A Room of One's Own

Knitted Top ; Foxy Youth Shop | Shorts ; Random | Accessories ; AI Fashion | 
Nike Airmax Thea ; Sam's Closet PH

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

My Sunburn Story

one thousand words and unpleasant images ahead. 
Not for the faint of heart

I had always been dark skinned back in Elementary to my High School years, reason why I was oftentimes bulldozed in school, aside from being very tall, skinny and socially comatose. Feeling all emotionally scarred and uptight, I resolved to look my best as soon as I entered College. I was one of those teenage girls who were enticed by skin whitening products, from soaps to lotions to Glutathione pills. I succumbed to both the lotion and soap but not the pills. Takot ko lang lol. I was gratified with the use of one particular Kojic Soap which I used for years and I could attest how my skin turned from chocolate Brown to super fair. I was blissful and content, felt I was 10 shades prettier than my old self and than my colleagues. Needless to say, I was bursting with confidence. It really is true that people get to pay you more attention if you had a fair complexion, in the Philippines at least. So I indulged myself with all the admiring and envious glances thrown upon my way whenever I swagger my stuff in the campus, which was my catwalk. I was the Queen Tamarraw. charot.

 Anyhow, I had cited in my last post that we spent three days in Caramoan Islands in Camarines Sur where we did some Island hopping which meant too much exposition to the Sea, Sand and Sun. Given that I am not a beach person, well I am at heart, but in reality, I haven't spent a good whole day at the beach. Simply put, I was oblivious to using Beach products. I wasn't exactly the one to research or scrutinize the active ingredients of a sunscreen one by one and thus, I bought the first and cheapest bottle I came by at the drug store. I did not even bother checking the SPF level since I thought they were all the same @__@;;. I swear I can never be a beauty blogger! So anyway, I was convinced that I was well prepared for the wrath of Summer. However, it was pouring hard when we reached Bicol due to the approaching typhoon. It did rain the whole day on the first day of our tour but just to make sure, I lathered the sunscreen on my face and body. My color did not show any signs of darkness and I assumed it was due to the sun not coming out at all. The following day was a similar scenario. So I opted to put very minimal sunscreen on my body. My roomate offered me to use her facial sunscreen, noticing that I did not put any on my face or neck. I DECLINED. I even exlaimed "keri lang. wala namang araw". *flips hair* ("It's alright, there's no sun anyway"). I was even wondering why she looked stunned at my refusal, like, big deal? So I marched outside the hotel in my teenie weenie 2 piece bikini and a kimono and my hair proudly up in a bun so that my face is entirely exposed into the wild. The rest of the day was history. 

That night, upon getting back to the hotel and I was about to take a shower, my jaw was literally on the floor upon seeing my intensely Red and swollen face. My shivering hands mechanically reached my cheek and it felt hot, the fever kind of hot and every press on my skin stung. I realized I also couldn't yawn or open my mouth properly because it felt like my skin was tearing apart. I never had Sun Burn my entire life, and I hated it. I thought it would go away if I slept on it. But I was so wrong. That morning, my face was Redder, more swollen and hotter than ever. Everyone felt sorry for me and kept asking me if I was okay. They gave me all sorts of aloe vera gels and wet tissues to sooth my parched skin. We had a stop over at a nearby Gas station and everyone in the rest room was staring at my face the moment I walked in so I wore my sunglasses. It was uncomfortable and awkward. One kid even called her Mom and said "Mama look at her" while pointing at my direction. I badly wanted to pull that kid's hair. It felt like I was the bullied little girl in High School once again. I entered the cubicle and wept. 

After 8 hours of travel, I got home. And obviously, I was scolded. My face has already darkened and it felt rough but my cheeks, nose and forehead were still bright Red, smooth and thin, like it would burst anytime. I spent many hours researching "How to cure sunburn" and I tried everything I have read. My face was drenched in ice cold water, was soaked with tea, covered in Potato shreds and herbs etc etc etc. They did me no good. I immediately went to see a Dermatologist the same day. I spent a hefty sum but I've heard that the doctor was good. I've been seeing his clinic since I was a kid and it was my first time to pay him a visit since I never had skin problems back then. He was very nice, honest and funny. I learned as well that my use of Kojic soap and lotion reacted negatively to the sun's UV rays hence I was burned severely especially that I did not wear sunscreen. If you are using whitening products like me, always wear sunscreen with at least SPF 30 and apply after every 30 minutes to an hour if you are engaging in any water activity. Or you can get yourself a sunblock with maximum SPF that can last all day.

So the following photos are my day to day documentary. These aren't even nearly how I really looked like during my time of crisis. My camera phone could not justify the horror of it all but at least, I wouldn't look too disgusting in here:
for redness and swelling 

for itch

== DAY 01 ==

 == DAY 02 ==

See the division of the dark and fair skin from my neck to my chest? </3 

== DAY 03 ==

== DAY 04 ==

== DAY 05 ==

== DAY 06 ==

my whole body peeling== DAY 07 ==

I am quite thankful that my burns only lasted for seven days although my face is still considerably darker than my neck or the rest of my body. Last week, my family and I went to the beach again so I ensured to get myself a maximum SPF sunblock from Beach Hut:

So I learned my lesson the hard way. I'm still not giving up my whitening products though. I am not ashamed to admit that my fair skin was a product of Kojic acid or papaya enzymes or Glutathione and will continue to use them as I have before. Because now I am prepared and knowledgeable. I really am :p 

Do you have any sunburn horror stories to share? I'd love to hear from you :))


Love Lots,